I’ve never been one for making New Year’s Resolutions, but I had a difficult end to 2018 and a very challenging start to this year, so I decided to work on some mind goals for 2019. My physical health has been particularly bad recently, which I have very little control over, but I can set goals for my mental health.
The most important thing for my mental wellbeing is to remember that I matter. As a physically disabled person with carers and a whole team of people who look after me, it’s easy to feel like I’m just a burden. A waste of everybody’s time and energy. It’s very frustrating for me and I lost myself for a long time. I felt I had no purpose in life. I wasn’t a wife, a mum, a daughter, or even just me, I was just somebody who needed looking after. Writing has given me back a purpose in life and my life does matter. I matter.
Secondly, I want to be able to put my mental health first and let go of negative influences around me. I have to self-preserve and put up some barriers and boundaries. I have a love/hate relationship with social media. It can be used for so much good, but it has also caused me a lot of pain. This year I will allow myself to let go of anything that is detrimental to my mental wellbeing.
I am in charge of my life. This is a very important one too. As I mentioned earlier, I have little control over many aspects of my day to day life due to my disabilities, so I must take control where I can. I can use my time wisely. I have plenty to say and a platform to put that to good use. I can stand up for people with disabilities. I can use social media for positive reasons and campaign for charities. I can write books for my children which makes them happy. I can be useful. I can make a contribution to this world.
I must pursue my dreams and not give up. Society views disabled people as a drain on society but I will prove them wrong. There is nothing else I can do but write so I will chase my goals. Success is what you decide you want to be so everyone’s achievements are vastly different. My idea of success is not based on what things I want to have but the person I want to be.
I will also keep fighting to get the healthcare I need. I won’t let the consultants give up on me. So many times I have wanted to give up but I get back up again. Figuratively speaking, as I can’t stand up without falling! It’s very difficult to find the mental balance between accepting yourself as a disabled person but also fighting for answers and the right treatment.
Finally, the most important task this year. I must be me. I will be 40 later this year and accepting my faults, quirks and eccentricities’ is the biggest task ahead. My abilities and disabilities all make up who I am and that is the biggest key to good mental health.
Happy new year everyone!