Wednesday, 3 January 2018

VEEG

Thanks to my Dad putting pressure on the hospital I should be having a VEEG before early February. This means I go onto hospital and they stick things all over my head, wrap me up like a Mummy and film me from another room. Sounds like a weird film but hey that's my life! The idea is to see where and how frequently the seizures are. I like to think someone will be in a room watching me 24 hours while I shout cock at them but it probably won't be like that. I'll probably scare them off! Hopefully it will give us a bit more insight into the workings of my brain. In the meantime I have to spend 5 days in a room by myself for the most part. I've read I might have to be tied to the bed. Definitely weird film material. 

Monday, 1 January 2018

New Year, New Start

Well it's a new year and about time I started writing again. The truth is I have been very depressed and lost my will to write. When I lost Charlie I had something to fight for, a cause to get my teeth into. I battled through it and it gave me strength. This time I have no strength. I've been robbed of time with my friends, looking after my children, evenings with my husband. I've lost my life in the past two years. I have no way of fighting it and that's when the depression hits. This isn't me. I'm the first on the dance floor, the life and soul of the party. Not the one stuck in the wheelchair watching life pass me by. This is the year I have to try and fight back and get the neurologists to do more. Except I can't because my medication knocks the fight out of me. That's where my family come in who fight on my behalf. I refuse to spend the rest of my life like this. Even though the neurologists have little hope of getting my seizures under control I have to cling on to that hope. I will be back on that dance floor with no wheelchair in sight.