Thursday, 25 August 2016

Hospital Laughs

So I met some amazing characters while I was in hospital. I will change their names for privacy.

There was Susan who swore blind she was 182 and sang "Oh dear what can the matter be" on a continual loop.

Margaret who had an exploding bowel and repeated the story several times daily. A fabulous lady who wasn't fazed by continuous shouting of cock!

Linda who had celluitis on her leg which was due to burst at any moment. I was in the bed next to her and was in constant fear of it bursting all over me.

Mike who talked about nothing but pork pies for a whole week (apparently you can sell them for a fortune in Malta)

Karen who wasn't even in my bay but had the burps so loud you could hear her down the other end of the ward.

Sarah and her weird food combinations - cottage pie in bread?? Weirdo! :P She kept me going and we had a great laugh together during our time on the ward. It was a sad day when she escaped.

Lilian's husband (age 93) who wanted to take me home and looked just like the man from Up. Lilian could walk much better than I could and she was 90. Lilian's husband wanted to race me down the corridor, him with his walking stick and me on my wheelchair!

Sharon who wanted to keep me as a pet in her garden. She was a bad influence on me and Sarah and we got told off for being too rowdy! She was encouraging my shouts and trying to get me into trouble! Great fun though.

Emma my sister in law who missed me so much she got pneumonia so she could join me in hospital! Sadly (for me) she was only in for three nights but I appreciate the thought.

Finally a big shout out to the two ladies on my ward whose surnames ended in cock. It was unfortunate all round, what can I say?

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